I'm only 'ere for a bit of a joke.

Which is why I'm gonna stick to me journal fer a while, and not venture out into other bits of the Hyde internet!

I dun't think Sam is right happy cos he'd tried to send the Guv on a Hyde 'puter course but he dun't seem right bothered (says he dun't like these new fangled ideas of Sams). Just hope the Gov changes his mind and gets himself up on this t'internet stuff.

If any of yer see 'im - let 'im know will yer!

To all those on me friends list - if yer ever wanna comment please do - I'll try and get back to yer!

So I got this 'ere package in the post the a couple of weeks ago. If yer click on the cut, you'll get to see what I were sent!

( What I were sent )

I dun't really know what a DVD is right, but a mate of mine on me journal told us there are these two actors called Marshall Lancaster (yer know, the one who looks just like us) and Dean Andrews who do a talking bit with summit to do with when we arrested that Billy Kemble bloke. Apparently right, they have the following conversation (when yer 'ere the music):-

ML:- "What is this? Life on Mars?" (He even sounds like us then!)
Someone else:- "Oh, wrong show!"
DA:- "I've seen that John Simm somewhere before."

*cough* 31st March 2006 (Hyde date)

Me first conversation about that John Simm Bloke

I saying nowt!

Oh - and from what I 'ere - that Marshall Lancaster, right, 'e likes wearing womens knickers!

So we 'ave summit in common after all!

Now this is right weird. Get this, I were on that johnsimm again over the weekend right, looking at pictures of that John Simm Bloke, from some Hyde film called Human Traffic or summit, and I noticed 'e 'ad a tattoo the top of 'is right arm (perhaps 'e did 'is National Service in the Navy like?). So I sort of figured 'e in't like our Sam right, cos Sam an't got a tattoo, ('e din't 'ave one when we went undercover that time at the baths or owt - I think I would 'ave noticed - I spotted Kim Trent's verruca after all!).

Any road, I got talking to the lass who put up them pictures, and she said it were odd cos Sam 'as a nasty bruise just about the same place where, that John Simm Bloke 'as 'is tattoo. ('ow she knows I d'know. Perhaps she knew Sam when 'e lived in Hyde). But the thing is she's dead right, 'e does have a bruise or summit just there. I'd always figured it were cos the Guv is always manhandling 'im, and it never gets chance to 'eal.

But then I put me investigative brain on to it right. I dun't think it's a bruise at all - I think it's some sort of birthmark, cos it's always there. I'll 'ave to ask Sam next time I see 'im, but the Guv is keeping 'im busy at the moment with work. They've been working long 'ours at the office or summit. Sam's looking quite worn out, poor thing.

Well folks, I've actually gone an written a fic! Let us know what yer think about it. It in't mucky, I've been very well behaved! There's a bit of tying up with ropes, but it ain't as bad as it sounds! Any road, let us know what yer think.

Title: Me first proper fic
Setting: Summer 1973, sometime after Sam went loopy and turned a gun on the Guv.
Rating: 15+ There are a few dirty words me Mum woun't want me using! But no mucky business.
Summary: Me and Sam get in a bit of a pickle - can't say owt else, or it will ruin it!
Disclaimer: I dun't quite understand it, but I 'ave to say that it in't mine, that me, Sam and everyone belong to the BBC and Kudos. Alright?

( Me first proper fic )

Right, I've decided to put up the results of me poll that I did, 'bout who I should end up with.

( Results of me poll )

So I were watching them Hyde TV channels again. This time it were on the Hyde version of BBC1, which in't a bit like our BBC1. Hyde BBC1 'as all these poofy dancers before the start of every programme - it's right shite - oh it dun't 'ave Testcard Girl neither. Think it must be one of them regional things - you know different things depending on where yer live. I mean like in Yorkshire they 'ave Yorkshire news with that Austin Mitchell bloke.

( All about this show )

Who should I end up with?

I need some 'elp like! I'm all bit confused cos I like Ray, Sam and Annie! I d'know who I should be with. I mean Ray is me bad 'abit that I can't give up, I love Sam and I dream 'bout Annie.

So I were wondering if you lot could 'elp me and vote in the poll behind the cut.

( Poll )

Right - yer know 'ow I found that johnsimm and 'ow 'e looks the spit of Sam, well I did some more research and found summit called philipglenister and this bloke right, looks just like the Guv! It in't as good as johnsimm - the lass who does that one 'as it looking really nice (I should know I'm often on there looking at them pictures!).

This ones only got one picture of that Philip Glenister bloke and he looks like a right poofter! Dun't think that actor has done much though. The last entry in that journal dates from Friday, October 21st, 2005 and says,

Sorry for the lack of activity o'er here. There's not much news in the PG world lately.

So 'e an't done owt in 2006 then. I'll 'ave to ask Sam if 'e's heard of that Philip Glenister bloke - 'e might be on Hyde TV or summit.

I were also told that aparently there is some bloke (another actor!) called Dean Andrews who's supposed to look just like Ray, only not as 'airy! I coun't find 'im 'ere on this Live Journal thingy. Search for Dean Andrews . Does no one like 'im?

Then I did me a few more searches:-

Me self Six folks like me!

Ray Carling Poor Ray only three folks like 'im - one of 'em's me and all!

Some of yer might like to know a bit 'bout me self - where I live like. I live in a bit of Manchester called Chorlton-Cun-Hardy at 53 Kepple Road. It's right boring round 'ere at times - nowt like what Sam tells us 'bout Hyde - which sounds dead exciting. About the most exciting thing that ever 'append were when the lads next door - Barry, his twin brothers Robin and Maurice and their little brother Andy moved to Australia when I were 'bout eleven. They liked their music and 'ad a couple of songs in the charts, one called Massachusetts and another one called I've Gotta Get a Message To You.

They an't 'ad much success since then - guess no one will 'ere from 'em again.

9th July 1973

Just in case yer were wondering 'ow me Chris Skelton go into the CID I'll tell yer. When I were a young copper - a PC like - I 'ad this boss and one day 'e told us that a job for a DC 'ad come up in A-Division. 'e were right keen that I apply - even wrote me a cracking reference. Within a week I were transferred out of uniform and in t' CID.

It were right strange that cos I din't think me old boss liked me. I mean I'd crashed 'is car the week before - and it wont even in a car chase or owt! And then there were the Christmas Party. I were right bladdered and I came on to some bird (Ray egged us on a bit - I wont that bothered) - she wont interested so I called 'er a stuck up cow. Turns out she were me bosses daughter. I wont even go into 'ow I confused that rat poisoning for sugar when I were making the tea that time.

I stil dun't know why 'e were so nice to me after all that and why the day I left 'is office to start me new job 'e were right 'appy - 'e were whistling and everything.

7th July 1973

...gonna tell yer all about how I got into me tape recording!

Sam's come back from that conference in Blackpool with the Gov. Strange 'e seemed quite cheerful and I actually saw 'im smile. Must be cos I made 'im a nice cuppa and got 'im them biscuits he likes so much.

The Guv in't right though poor bloke. 'e were walking a bit funny and looked uncomfortable when 'e sat down. Hope it's not from owt 'e picked up in Blackpool.

6th July 1973

That Hyde digi channel thing - BBC4 - is gonna be showing an Elton John concert at 8:30pm on Tuesday. Can't go to the pub cos I've gotta to see that. I'll 'ave to come up with some sort of excuse cos it's our darts night. I'm right shite at darts anyway. Ray says I throw like a lass, but Sam says I just need the practice.

6th July 1973

Hey mate - sos 'bout the shite Valentines Day - 'ere's some icons for yer to use cos your 'tache one brings back too many bad memories!

6th July 1973

That John Simm bloke - he dun't half look like our Sam! Watched a film with him in on that porno channel Sam told us all about - Channel Four - and I got to see that John Simm blokes arse and all! Hey if I can't see our Sam's - his lookalikes will have to do!

Shite film though.

That shite film

Nowt like our soft porno films. I mean we had that Confessions of a Window Cleaner which at least were a bit of a laugh. Sam told us the bloke in that - Tony Booth - that his daughter is married to the Prime Minister of Hyde! Sam dun't talk a right load of shite at times!

5th July 1973

So a couple of weeks went by and Sam were still here. He still han't settled down or owt – he were still a bit weird, but I guess he always will be – that's just how he is. ( Read more... )

4th July 1973

So the day arrived when the so called fucking bastard from Hyde turned up.

( Read more... )